So in my daily blog reading I came across not one, but two ludicrous stories today…

I discovered the first one on of all places Apple Insider, as it loosely has to do with them. It seems that a South Carolina inmate with a history of filing wacky lawsuits has filed a complaint with the US District Court Middle District of Florida that accuses Steve Jobs of employing OJ Simpson as a hitman for the last 20 years! Oh but it gets better – supposedly Simpson has been Jobs’s hitman since the 1985 MOVE house bombing in Philadelphia, which Jobs started with borrowed pyrotechnics from Great White (I think he means the rock band).

The inmate Jonathan Riches who is serving an 8 year sentence for his role in an identity theft ring. He also claims that “O.J. has been providing Jobs with food blenders since the midwest flood of 1993″ (so?) and that O.J. also “paid Jobs to clone Dolly the sheep on April 20, 1998.” 

According to Mr Riches some of the other criminal enterprises that Steve Jobs is involved in:

Aiming nuclear missiles at Riches’ brain and Lance Armstrong’s bicycle.

Price gouging iPhone customers. According to Mr Riches: “On May 10th, 2007, I bought an Apple iPhone for $922.01 at the FCI Williamsburg commissary, now Jobs sells that same iPod for $199.”

This complaint was dismissed, but it’s not his first. The guy has a HUGE assortment of insane complaints in the past, all documented on his Wikipedia page. Check this one out:

On March 9, 2006, Mr. Riches filed his most famous] and largest lawsuit. The civil rights lawsuit naming George W. Bush et al as defendants. The “et al” list continues for 56 more pages and includes 783 defendants (both living, dead, and non-entities) such as the survivors of the Holocaust, Pizza Hut, Dane Cook, Three Mile Island, Paris Hilton, Dennis Hopper, Mount Rushmore, the Ming Dynasty, Mein Kampf, “Various Buddhist Monks”, Medieval Times, The Da Vinci Code, and the celestial object Pluto.

The New York Times says that Google is also getting slapped with an insane lawsuit (probably not the first). Dylan Jayne alleges that his Social Security number turned upside down and scrambled spells the word Google… So he wants $5 billion in damages!!!! The HANDWRITTEN complaint (which is hysterical in its own right) that not only is his right to privacy being violated, but that the Plaintiff and defendants have a responsibility to fight the War on Terrorism. The complaint also details the plaintiff’s numerous run ins with authorities in his area, what’s unclear is if Mr. Jayne believes that Google is responsible for those incidents as well.